Hoodie Over Heels: "Hoodie Over Heels"

DNRC57 Format: L.P. Released: 2009 (re-released 2012) Status: DELETED Otherwise known as the better-looking half of now-defunct comic duo Hoodie 'n' Heels, Hoodie Over Heels released this, her one and only blistering collection of heart-on-sleeve tear-jerkers in the summer of 2009, thus capitalising on the apparent inability of consumers to tell the difference between herself and her former band. Hoodie (whose chosen musical instrument, the melodion, would prove later to be her undoing) separated from former ghostwriter Heels after their humorous but gut-wrenching double comedy act failed to ignite the traditional RSL circuit, despite a total fire ban in place across the country. Citing "irreconcilable though amusing artistic differences", Hoodie immediately set herself up as Hoodie Over Heels, briskly recorded an eponymous debut album and promptly disappeared, prompting one music critic to label her a fraud and cahralatan, charges which she strangely never reappeared to contest. Rumour had it that a bizarre accident involving the jamming of her melodion tube up the nostril of an irate kangaroo led to a scuffle, or small scale fracas, in the petting area of a suspect "wildlife" park although, again, neither Hoodie nor her (now-seething) former partner Heels ever bothered to dispute the truth or otherwise of what Rumour actually claimed in their breathtakingly dismissive swipe-album, "Hoodie Hot On the Heels of Hootie". The fact that Rumour, who had long been seeking a place within the pantheon of DNRC, were later to re-form as the Four Calling Birds was seen by some as further proof that Davey Dreamnation, who unwittingly signed the band up for a four album Christmas box set, had again lost not only his marbles but his bird-cage bonker as well. An APB issued in order to discover Hoodie's whereabouts failed once again to locate the charming chanteuse. Finally Heels himself, despite his everlasting bitterness, agreed to re-record the ten tracks that make up this album, and re-release them, to moderate critical indifference, in the summer of 2012. Tragicaly, hip replacement surgery left Heels unable to walk, and he was forced to complete a gruelling twelve month tour in support of this masterwork's re-release in traction. Despite sales in the double figures, DNRC was finally left with no choice but to delete the album, and any record of its composer, from its catalogue of sadly deleted releases.

Davey Dreamnation: "The Rise and Fall of Davey Dreamnation"

DNRC56 Format: L.P. Released: 2008 Status: DELETED Astonishing Tribesco-only import, re-packaging Dreamnation's original Islands In the Stream of Consciousness LP with one or two surprises - the first being opening track "Theme Song", a previously-unreleased call to arms. In addition, an extended version of the presumed-drowned "Scaramouche's Theme" sees Davey teaming with his llama pal to create a meteoric sensation in the ears of the listener - making this disc an essential part of any self-respecting Davey Dreamnation collection. Finally, an unbelieavly-rare recording of "Trailer", a diatribe against Hollywood deemed unreleasable when first recorded in 2002. In between, the best bits off Davey's debut. An attractive white packaging gives consumers one more reason to buy this testament to the fight against moroseness in pop. Or, at least, that's what one might have said, had this bootleg, just like all the others, not been deleted just as it appeared on the scene, sadly.

Captain Sans Tenille: "Talk Like A Pirate"

DNRC55 Format: L.P. Released: 2007 Status: DELETED This blistering release from CST, his first for DNRC, came at an important moment in international sea-bed relations. Following his split with Tenille (due to artistic disturbances), Captain changed tack, switching to the highly emotive and moving sea-shanty format. What you get on this rocking release is sixteen tales of blubber, planks, bogus islands and strange treasure maps written in lemon juice. Opening track "Landlubbers Make Better Lovers (Not)" sets the tone, a stripped back instrumental dirge written for two mandolins and a harmonica. From here on in it's a freewheeling jaunt through the south, east, west and north seas, highlights including "Shoulder Parrot", "Ahoy!", "Don't Wear Two Eye Patches At Once" and the scintillating medley/madrigal "Strap Me To The Mast One More Time". Impossible to categorise, barmy as a barrel of dolphin meat, risky as sodomy and saltier than scurvy, this outstanding album from one of the world's great unacknowledged pirates deserves a place in any halfway decent sea-shanty collection. Sadly, however, both the album and its amazingly bad cover artwork were forced to walk the plank during a marathon DNRC budget session, leaving CST all at sea. Gangway!

Heroin Archers: "Helium Parachute"

DNRC54 Format: L.P. Released: 2007 Status: DELETED Redundant release from Canberra's Heroin Archers, originally released in 2007 to coincide with their belief that they were on the verge of becoming Bona Fide, a name change suggested by their barmy management team of Davey Dreamnation and his sidekick Scaramouche. before approving the name change, however, Dreamnation insisted on releasing "Helium Parachute" under both monikers, in order to maximise sales. The results were disastrous, with one review of the Heroin Archers album appearing in Stolen Gnome and another review of Bona Fide's album being published in the Catholic Weekly. Disgraced, chagrined and more than a little annoyed, both Heroin Archers and Bona Fide decided to split up, re-form as a super group and then promptly dissolved, like half an aspirin in the glass of our collective forgetting. The end result? You guessed it: double deletion, sadly, for an album no one has ever heard of, or is ever likely to hear from, again.

Tofu Kangaroos: "Gamey"

DNRC53 Format: E.P. Released: 2007 Status: DELETED Startling and vibrant release from this vastly-underrated bunch of faux-vegetarians. Hailing from a small strawberry patch outside Hepburn in central Victoria, from about the beginning of 2006 Tofu Kangaroos quietly went about harvesting a large punnet of fans, using organic market day as a chance to improve their busking, spruiking and musical skills. Their now-infamous weekly radio show on a since-banned community station brought their spiky, angular folk to the attention of DNRC founder Davey Dreamnation, who just happened to be undergoing some colonic irrigation therapy at a nearby spa resort, with his llama and confidante Scaramouche in tow. Desperate to wean the llama off quiche lorraine, Dreamnation rang the station and demanded a private, unplugged session, hoping that by doing so he might cure Scaramouche of a craving that was not only constant but deadly. Hence it was that Tofu Kangaroos stepped out of obscurity and into deletion, sadly. Little did the band realise that signing to the DNRC label would lead to some seriously bad ju-ju, including their appearance at a South Australian death metal festival, the recording of their debut album onto microfilm and a disastrous promotional tour that saw them distributing leaflets at no less than one hundred and seventy five RSL Clubs, supposedly in support of the barnestorming tour of Ian Moss. The end came when lead singer Beet left the band to pursue agribusiness. The rest is celery.

The Avian Sars: "Whilebird Chirpings"

DNRC52 Format: three-sided 7" single Released: 2007 Status: DELETED Having been forced to change their name from The Avian Conspiracy before even forming, The Avian Sars somehow managed to morph from an incendiary three piece into a quietist quartet for the recording sessions that led to this, their one and only single. Bizarrely recorded three times in four different locations, "Whilebird Chirpings" was a peculiar choice of single for the band, particularly as none of them actually played on any of the three versions, leaving the work to a trio of session magpies recovering from industrial deafness. The results really do chirp for themselves, with the three birds shambolically blundering through some complex (if atonal) melodies, finally coming to a stuttering conclusion during the chilling coda, a sonicscape even Mead would love to be able to pull off, knowing all the while that he couldn't. Barmy, twisted and slightly revolting, The Avian Sars migrated to more repressive climes and have not been heard of since landing in China in mid-2008 in order to promote this sadly deleted piece of toe-waffle.

The In Jokes: "Yew'll Never Bee Apart (of IT)"

DNRC51 Format: one-sided 7" single Released: 2007 Status: DELETED Having celebrated the occasion of the instant deletion of fifty barnstormingly barmy releases from some truly insane and troubled artists back in 2006, Davey Dreamnation began 2007 with an ironic stab at his critics, choosing to release this oddball song from a pair of complete nobodies, without even bothering to append a b-side to its sorry arse. While one would be forgiven for thinking that this is indicative of The In Jokes' lack of musical talent, instead what we get on this thrillingly short song is a series of musical references dressed up as samples and made to run through the streets shouting "naked men!". Within seconds of the initial botched count-in, itself a parody of Nirvana's "Serve the Servants", lead singer Maikiki begins reading out a list of previous [dnrc] releases, complete with release date, format and fate. Upon the first utterance of "deleted", multi-instrumentalist Wu Gazer triggers some behemoth of a drum kick sample and we're off on a journey through genre. Beatle-spec, thrash-mat, silly wobble, cool-op, frente-bait - they're all here, as anyone even remotely familiar with the musical landscape of 2007 would know already. By the time Maikiki rounds off his list at the 1.25 minute mark, both the song and an era are over. Deliciously fundamental, archaically misspelt and frozen like an idea daquiri, "Yew'll Never Bee Apart (of IT)" proved a prophetic statement of intent indeed. For upon this ridiculous song's release it was emphatically and immediately deleted, though sadly the usual bootleggers and blog-kids somehow managed to leak its sonic drivel onto the internet and the rest, as they said back in 2008, will be history. We will never live to see their like before.

Super Grope: "Where Will We Be In Fifty Beers?"

DNRC50 Format: Cassingle Released: 2006 Status: DELETED How fitting that this, the fiftieth [dnrc] release, is equal parts barmy, offensive and moving. For if any three words sum up the [dnrc] philosophy, surely those words would be mentioned at some point either after or before these ones. Made up of members of this extraordinary record label's most popular bands, Super Grope (just don't ask) is not so much a picture of the universe seconds after the Big Bang as a stop-motion video of a chef making gumbo from first elements. First up, one needs some stock. That is provided here by (who else?) Scaramouche, whose livid wall of plainsong neatly grates with a whipped up Chipmunk punk slice of Mead on speed. Of course, like all good sources of stock, Scaramouche has actually now been removed from this album, and with good reason: there's no way that talented llama would ever share a studio, let alone a track-listing with everybody's favourite guide ponies, The Guide Ponies. In any case, once the stock has been removed, one needs a fair few tomatoes. And who better to provide these than Footpath, Australia's answer to Pavement, who were called in from a hideously brutal spell of fruit picking to record their trademark vocals for this somewhat puzzling and non-sensical track. Of course, no gumbo would be complete without prawns and other seafood. Bring on The Sea Pigeons and say no more. Of course, this entire shameless grab for filthy lucre being Davey Dreamnation's idea, we'll leave it to some other street press rag, no doubt hoping to revive the career of Pitchfork, to crow from the rooftops of Camp Davey the fact that the [dnrc] supremo sadly deleted the only copy of the cassingle while attempting to dub it onto another cassette. Fifty releases. Holy mother of Cruns. Can it get any barmier? In a truly moving tribute, all proceeds from this non-existant single have been pooled to form a search party to find Stung, whose long hibernation in the wilderness is said to be coming to an end. Let's hope that not all the rumours circulated by Pixel Mouse and her associates prove to be true. Don't count your seethings before they snatch.

Catholic Autistic Terrific: "Every Clown Has A Silver Lining"

DNRC49 Format: Long Player Released: 1968 (re-released 2006) Status: DELETED Wacky duo Macdaddy Kiff and Montana Radaman moved to Los Angeles in 1965, living in the garage of Kiff's grandmother - who was once herself a notable musician in the saucy skiffle band 'Just Good Clean Rock n' Roll'. Radaman fell in love with Jane Jayne, a bassist, whom he met at an all girls' stamp collecting convention in Seattle. The three of them formed 'Catholic Autistic Terrific' and within months began touring with big psychedelic bands such as Electric Prunes, Eire Apparent, Camel, Left Banke and Bubble Puppy. They signed to 'International Artists' (home of the 13th Floor Elevators) and soon began weaving their magic on transistors everywhere with hits such as 'Very Happy Egg Man' and 'Are You in the Spa Club Too?' Their swansong album 'Swansong' was banned in the UK for its simulated orgasm sounds all throughout the LP. It was a mixture of heady scathing acid-drenched keyboards, neo-classical drums and Zappa-inspired bass. Kiff fell off stage during a concert in San Francisco, yelling 'C**KS**KERS' at the audience during their tragic, spontaneous song 'Call Down the Moon if You Have Time'. The band never recovered, with mass burnings of their later albums. 'Every Clown Has a Silver Lining' has some of Kiff's angry genius in it peppered with the misty lament of the love between Radaman and Jayne. Expect churning hammond, expect avant-garde electronica, expect primitive chants. This is a must buy. Come on!

Mead: "Onza Rocku"

DNRC48 Format: Long Player Released: 2006 Status: DELETED This eccentric album, the follow-up to the deliciously barmy (and moving) The Mists of Thyme, was in fact scheduled for release in 2005 but due to Mead's punishing tour schedule, was held back until the 2006 Commonwealth Games, to ensure maximum indifference. Being the highly prolific artist that he is, Mead pulls out all the stops here, cramming seventy eight tracks in where anyone else would have stopped at three. Why anyone would want to own this album, however, escapes us. Unlike the afore-mentioned "The Mists of Thyme" and his inspired debut "Yea, Finery", this album peters out after just two songs, opener "Shuttle Crock" and the title track, supposedly a reference to the Japanese term for "On the Rocks". Indeed, this prophetic choice of album title leaves this reviewer with little choice but to ram home the fact that tracks three to seventy eight resemble nothing so much as a mass of recycled cotton wedged between the cracks of insanity. Whoever decided to hit the record button during the seventeen part llama-madrigal "Faux Netics (I-XVII)" deserves to be shot. Whoever Mead bribed into providing a rhythm section for the wincingly bad closing track "Hole In the Head" deserves something even more unspeakable. A copy of the album, perhaps. In between, a startling assortment of toe-jam and nail scraping manages to offend every sense, violate several international protocols on whaling and prove the old adage that if you can't even get the count-in right, you're better off consigning yourself, as well as your musical output, to the giant crun-filled basket known as simple and deleted. Reportedly the final nail in the coffin marked "Ex-Star".