The In Jokes: "Yew'll Never Bee Apart (of IT)"

DNRC51 Format: one-sided 7" single Released: 2007 Status: DELETED Having celebrated the occasion of the instant deletion of fifty barnstormingly barmy releases from some truly insane and troubled artists back in 2006, Davey Dreamnation began 2007 with an ironic stab at his critics, choosing to release this oddball song from a pair of complete nobodies, without even bothering to append a b-side to its sorry arse. While one would be forgiven for thinking that this is indicative of The In Jokes' lack of musical talent, instead what we get on this thrillingly short song is a series of musical references dressed up as samples and made to run through the streets shouting "naked men!". Within seconds of the initial botched count-in, itself a parody of Nirvana's "Serve the Servants", lead singer Maikiki begins reading out a list of previous [dnrc] releases, complete with release date, format and fate. Upon the first utterance of "deleted", multi-instrumentalist Wu Gazer triggers some behemoth of a drum kick sample and we're off on a journey through genre. Beatle-spec, thrash-mat, silly wobble, cool-op, frente-bait - they're all here, as anyone even remotely familiar with the musical landscape of 2007 would know already. By the time Maikiki rounds off his list at the 1.25 minute mark, both the song and an era are over. Deliciously fundamental, archaically misspelt and frozen like an idea daquiri, "Yew'll Never Bee Apart (of IT)" proved a prophetic statement of intent indeed. For upon this ridiculous song's release it was emphatically and immediately deleted, though sadly the usual bootleggers and blog-kids somehow managed to leak its sonic drivel onto the internet and the rest, as they said back in 2008, will be history. We will never live to see their like before.

Super Grope: "Where Will We Be In Fifty Beers?"

DNRC50 Format: Cassingle Released: 2006 Status: DELETED How fitting that this, the fiftieth [dnrc] release, is equal parts barmy, offensive and moving. For if any three words sum up the [dnrc] philosophy, surely those words would be mentioned at some point either after or before these ones. Made up of members of this extraordinary record label's most popular bands, Super Grope (just don't ask) is not so much a picture of the universe seconds after the Big Bang as a stop-motion video of a chef making gumbo from first elements. First up, one needs some stock. That is provided here by (who else?) Scaramouche, whose livid wall of plainsong neatly grates with a whipped up Chipmunk punk slice of Mead on speed. Of course, like all good sources of stock, Scaramouche has actually now been removed from this album, and with good reason: there's no way that talented llama would ever share a studio, let alone a track-listing with everybody's favourite guide ponies, The Guide Ponies. In any case, once the stock has been removed, one needs a fair few tomatoes. And who better to provide these than Footpath, Australia's answer to Pavement, who were called in from a hideously brutal spell of fruit picking to record their trademark vocals for this somewhat puzzling and non-sensical track. Of course, no gumbo would be complete without prawns and other seafood. Bring on The Sea Pigeons and say no more. Of course, this entire shameless grab for filthy lucre being Davey Dreamnation's idea, we'll leave it to some other street press rag, no doubt hoping to revive the career of Pitchfork, to crow from the rooftops of Camp Davey the fact that the [dnrc] supremo sadly deleted the only copy of the cassingle while attempting to dub it onto another cassette. Fifty releases. Holy mother of Cruns. Can it get any barmier? In a truly moving tribute, all proceeds from this non-existant single have been pooled to form a search party to find Stung, whose long hibernation in the wilderness is said to be coming to an end. Let's hope that not all the rumours circulated by Pixel Mouse and her associates prove to be true. Don't count your seethings before they snatch.

Catholic Autistic Terrific: "Every Clown Has A Silver Lining"

DNRC49 Format: Long Player Released: 1968 (re-released 2006) Status: DELETED Wacky duo Macdaddy Kiff and Montana Radaman moved to Los Angeles in 1965, living in the garage of Kiff's grandmother - who was once herself a notable musician in the saucy skiffle band 'Just Good Clean Rock n' Roll'. Radaman fell in love with Jane Jayne, a bassist, whom he met at an all girls' stamp collecting convention in Seattle. The three of them formed 'Catholic Autistic Terrific' and within months began touring with big psychedelic bands such as Electric Prunes, Eire Apparent, Camel, Left Banke and Bubble Puppy. They signed to 'International Artists' (home of the 13th Floor Elevators) and soon began weaving their magic on transistors everywhere with hits such as 'Very Happy Egg Man' and 'Are You in the Spa Club Too?' Their swansong album 'Swansong' was banned in the UK for its simulated orgasm sounds all throughout the LP. It was a mixture of heady scathing acid-drenched keyboards, neo-classical drums and Zappa-inspired bass. Kiff fell off stage during a concert in San Francisco, yelling 'C**KS**KERS' at the audience during their tragic, spontaneous song 'Call Down the Moon if You Have Time'. The band never recovered, with mass burnings of their later albums. 'Every Clown Has a Silver Lining' has some of Kiff's angry genius in it peppered with the misty lament of the love between Radaman and Jayne. Expect churning hammond, expect avant-garde electronica, expect primitive chants. This is a must buy. Come on!

Mead: "Onza Rocku"

DNRC48 Format: Long Player Released: 2006 Status: DELETED This eccentric album, the follow-up to the deliciously barmy (and moving) The Mists of Thyme, was in fact scheduled for release in 2005 but due to Mead's punishing tour schedule, was held back until the 2006 Commonwealth Games, to ensure maximum indifference. Being the highly prolific artist that he is, Mead pulls out all the stops here, cramming seventy eight tracks in where anyone else would have stopped at three. Why anyone would want to own this album, however, escapes us. Unlike the afore-mentioned "The Mists of Thyme" and his inspired debut "Yea, Finery", this album peters out after just two songs, opener "Shuttle Crock" and the title track, supposedly a reference to the Japanese term for "On the Rocks". Indeed, this prophetic choice of album title leaves this reviewer with little choice but to ram home the fact that tracks three to seventy eight resemble nothing so much as a mass of recycled cotton wedged between the cracks of insanity. Whoever decided to hit the record button during the seventeen part llama-madrigal "Faux Netics (I-XVII)" deserves to be shot. Whoever Mead bribed into providing a rhythm section for the wincingly bad closing track "Hole In the Head" deserves something even more unspeakable. A copy of the album, perhaps. In between, a startling assortment of toe-jam and nail scraping manages to offend every sense, violate several international protocols on whaling and prove the old adage that if you can't even get the count-in right, you're better off consigning yourself, as well as your musical output, to the giant crun-filled basket known as simple and deleted. Reportedly the final nail in the coffin marked "Ex-Star".

Nipple Happy Lovelies: "Bursts of Enthusiasm"

DNRC47 Format: Long Player Released: 1973 (re-released 2006) Status: DELETED Luxembourg lushes, the Nipple Happy Lovelies have long been regarded as pioneers of cowbell garage pop. Listlessly whipping up their '66 blonde Fender Telecaster and their 60s Teisco Del Rey into a hopeless lustful swoon is just one reason to keep this re-released CD on repeat. The other: the four cowbells swirling underneath, their presence like meerkats waiting to rise on a windy Kalahari morning. This is exquisite song writing. Standout songs like 'How Many Times Do I Have To Tell You I Love You Before It Gets Boring?' pinch at the soul, reminding us all to give into the universe and get on with life. The lyrics to 'Belgium Breasts' ended up as part of a marketing campaign in 70s England about the dangers of drink driving. Many people old enough will remember this electric/acoustic ten piece touring with Dylan in Sweden. The Swedish press confused the two bands and many in the crowd shouted 'Judas Priest' getting both band and reference mixed up. The only concrete connection between Dylan and the Nipple Happy Lovelies is that they both played Manchester Free Trade Hall in 1966. There is something Dylanesque about Dirk Boxhorn's songwriting, however, and many still draw comparisons to microphone technique. Boxhorn and fellow band mate Karl Itzig vanished into a boozy haze after the release of this album, as many saw the cowbell as too 'edgy' and 'hard hitting'. But do yourself a favour, sit on a shag carpet, bring out the big speakers and wallow in the magic of this infectious worn-fret music. As Christopher Walken has said, 'I've got a fever and the only prescription is, more cowbell'.