Super Grope: "Where Will We Be In Fifty Beers?"

DNRC50 Format: Cassingle Released: 2006 Status: DELETED How fitting that this, the fiftieth [dnrc] release, is equal parts barmy, offensive and moving. For if any three words sum up the [dnrc] philosophy, surely those words would be mentioned at some point either after or before these ones. Made up of members of this extraordinary record label's most popular bands, Super Grope (just don't ask) is not so much a picture of the universe seconds after the Big Bang as a stop-motion video of a chef making gumbo from first elements. First up, one needs some stock. That is provided here by (who else?) Scaramouche, whose livid wall of plainsong neatly grates with a whipped up Chipmunk punk slice of Mead on speed. Of course, like all good sources of stock, Scaramouche has actually now been removed from this album, and with good reason: there's no way that talented llama would ever share a studio, let alone a track-listing with everybody's favourite guide ponies, The Guide Ponies. In any case, once the stock has been removed, one needs a fair few tomatoes. And who better to provide these than Footpath, Australia's answer to Pavement, who were called in from a hideously brutal spell of fruit picking to record their trademark vocals for this somewhat puzzling and non-sensical track. Of course, no gumbo would be complete without prawns and other seafood. Bring on The Sea Pigeons and say no more. Of course, this entire shameless grab for filthy lucre being Davey Dreamnation's idea, we'll leave it to some other street press rag, no doubt hoping to revive the career of Pitchfork, to crow from the rooftops of Camp Davey the fact that the [dnrc] supremo sadly deleted the only copy of the cassingle while attempting to dub it onto another cassette. Fifty releases. Holy mother of Cruns. Can it get any barmier? In a truly moving tribute, all proceeds from this non-existant single have been pooled to form a search party to find Stung, whose long hibernation in the wilderness is said to be coming to an end. Let's hope that not all the rumours circulated by Pixel Mouse and her associates prove to be true. Don't count your seethings before they snatch.